Recap! HuacaFUCKINGchina- January 28th, 2014


The town of Haucachina, an oasis in the middle of the desert. This is where all the locals keep the tourists. ¨Get back you tourist. Hee-yaa! Stay on your side!¨ We are like  caged animals in the circus. The town Ica, is like 5-10 minutes away. ¨Keep them tourists in check.¨I don´t know why, but in my head, I picture the locals with hick accents and long mustaches… Which doesn´t make any sense.

Dunebuggy ride is better than any roller coaster! Jumping the dunes almost rolling us! Good thing there´s a roll cage on it. Yay! But my ride was a bit of a wet ride. This Irish gal next to me, was very good at spilling her water on just me. This was the last thing I was expecting, being in a desert and all. Oh well. Our driver, Jesus (as it said on our sand boards) had his dog Gringo follow us in the desert for 2 HOURS! The dog loved it! I didn´t know the driver´s name right away, so I thought, when we road the sand boards, it was Jesus looking over us! Haha! Oh, Jesus, thank you!

In the night, the partying began. There was about 20 of us (tourists), of course the locals started fancying me. So some of them joined us. Traveling alone, is never really travelling alone. You´re always surrounded by others that want to hear your story, they´re so interested in what you have to say…

Anyways, on the drinking escapade. We drank until the bar closed. Then I ended up hanging with the locals. The lagoon… Skinny dipping…Finding out all the tourists are all pansies. No body was up for going in the lagoon except me and a local.

Oh no, my clothes… Some local teenagers steal my wallet while I´m naked in the lagoon. Damn it, what was I thinking… I should have swam fully clothed, because everyone loves wet clothes, right, right? Nothing I can do now, they are gone… I am drunk.

I have been wanting a fight, now I´m getting what I want. I don´t know why I´m prone to liking violence. Maybe it was the way I was raised, maybe it´s because I´m American. Hmm…

A local ends up being my punching bag, while another, I end up hurting his hand. The next day, he has his hand wrapped up. I didn´t believe him when he said it was from me… Whoops…

American violcence. They worship me. Bowing down to my viciousness. Quite weird, they really did bow to me. They even grabbed a pedastel for me to sit on. I guess they are not use to pushy women… Hmm… Oh me, oh my!

I manage to win a local man´s heart, yet another local that is falling for my charm. My scent bringing out all these men. It reminds me of the movie Perfume. I think it´s french. It´s about this serial killer who wants the ultimate scent. He goes on a killing spree to get the scent.

Anyways, hornyness must be in the air… I´m just too exotic with these transparent legs of mine and this bright red hair.

Since I went into the Lagoon with the local, the tourists I have met managed to give me a flattering nickname… Swamp Bitch. Oh how nice…

Yet another nickname to add to my belt.


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