Aching Memory Part 1- February 16th, 2014

The ride back to Uyuni was nothing but miserable.
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I said goodbye to my new lover as he headed for Chile. Others were added to the car for the ride back. Two girls from Israel and a boy from Brazil.
Now, the first hour or two wasn´t that bad. The girls spoke english, but I wasn´t in my usual talkative mood. Sleep overtook me. When I awoke, a sharp pain in my lower back beckoned me to wake. This pain lingered the rest of the trip back. It was almost unbearable, which I would say, I have a pretty high pain tolerence. But after five hours of this, I crack. I ask one of the girls for some pills that will make the pain go away. I feel as though I have failed,giving into the need that I can`t handle the pain anymore.

This retched pain was something that I haven`t felt before. Many times, I almost vomitted, but I was stuck in this vehicle with four others. ¨I will not let you win, pain! Trying to make a fool out of me! Ha!¨This pounding feeling is from my spine being a half of inch to an inch off. It has been many months since that dreadful night, when I made one of the most stupid decisions of my life.

I had been stuck on this mountain for quite sometime. Just me and my dog (which I`m missing so much), no human interaction. It was starting to get to me. Then my savior came, what a glow she gives off. My dear friend, that`s a hippie (I don`t like hippies, but she slides in my book.) ¨It`s your day off. Go have fun, I will stay here.¨ My head races, am I really free? Is this really happening? I give her a big hug and out I go into the darkness. I feel so giddy while driving my little Mazda truck, I almost forget to shift. Silly me.

Once I make it to town, I find out there´s something going on at the fairgrounds. Big Foot BBQ! That`s when you know your`re in a small town. Since it´s such a small town, I pretty much know everyone (at least around my age, or I thought). I see this crazy Canadian girl, who has roped me into a few threesomes. She likes to make me her pussy platter, meaning, she puts my pussy on a platter (not literally) to serve me up to coax men into having sex with the both of us. I don´t always know this is happening.

Anyways, we meet up and Bigfoot`s about over, so many of us decide to go to the bar. ¨The Hotel¨ is what it`s called. Back in the olden times, it was used as a brothel. The rooms are only big enough for the bed. Bow Chicka, Bow Wow!

We get here and that`s when the drinking really starts.

There`s a boy that came with me to the bar that is just too sweet. His curly red hair and his cute round top hat, just say to me, innocence. I can not destroy that, so of course I was blunt with him.  ¨I do like you, but I can tell that you haven`t been with many ladies. If we were to have sex, I don`t think it would just be sex for you. You would want some kind of relationship. All I want, is a one night stand, and you can´t do that.¨ I feel like a dick, but he understands. After that, it becomes a little bit blurry. More drinks, and I meet another guy (originally from Washington). He´s a dick towards me. Perfect, I´m in. I have made my target, if I really understood what I had just done, I would have taken it back. To the end of the night, I was hanging out with this guy, and his best friend (which I have met before).

My drunken black out self now is only thinking about sex. I tell him, ¨Nah, I´m not drunk. I can take you home…¨ Stupid, stupid me. The boy gets into my two seater truck, while his friend gets a ride with someone else. This is very foggy for me.

I remember being inside, the truck while it rolls, then black. Somehow, I get out of the vehicle. Everything is surreal. I have blood dripping down my leg. I wander frantically where the boy is. Then, I find him in the ditch. My heart stops…

Sorry, I ran out of time… I will finish later.

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