Lost in a Mirage

                                            Written in 2008

    At the beginning, I had a feeling the outcome would be bad, but I kept on riding this roller coaster. He came across as a nice guy, maybe a little troublemaker. But nothing I couldn’t handle. Then everything went black…
My     life     
                   suddenly    spun
                                        of my
                           into his.
An evil grin spread over his face as his eyes narrowed to slits. He started spatting venomous words at me. My heart dropped, and I kept feeling like it was my fault. Even when, I had done nothing wrong!
Tears protruded from my eyes, leaving salty trails down my face. I must be a whore, since he says I am. For some reason, I believed his hateful words. I felt he was the only one who would accept me for what I really was.
So I never left. We were together everyday. No longer could I talk to my friends that were guys. If he knew I had, those ghastly words would come out of his poisonous mouth. His body would soon radiate how furious he was, and my body would be cowering on the inside. Waiting for him to connect with my own form.
But I would never show him my fear, he could never break my pride.


Fights began happening daily, and he soon realized his grip on me was becoming loose. So he tried to control me more. He tried to use drugs on me as my Achilles’  heel. But he soon found out, I’M NOT A DRUGGIE! I can say, NO!
He took a turn to constraint. He held me in place and forced me to eat pills and hits of acid.
A feeling of otherworldliness took over my body. I could look at my own self and see, I was broken. I didn’t look like my independent self anymore.


Something dark and menacing hovered over my body, whispering in a language that’s never heard of. But my body responded and let this human like devil have a firm grip on me. Slowly my eyes began to open again. I now realized some people do not have any good left in their hearts.
Me just being a good person, letting someone close, always seeing the good in people. I didn’t realize what was really happening. For being a caring human, I get stomped on and thrown into the dirt. I kept giving, even when I had nothing to give. I watched my own heart getting ripped out of my own chest, then crushed right before my tear filled eyes.
It is his fault I had to leave a place I finally felt accepted. His own selfish intentions left me penniless, used, and heartbroken.
But now I know, not to be so caring. I now am stronger. He pushed my mental capacity to its fullest. Now I can take on the world. I am ready to step out of my hole once again. Now with new knowledge for the world!


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