“A woman has to live her life, or live to repent not having lived it.”
― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover
Another one bites the dust! The coast guard boy is falling for me hard. Just like the one before that and the one before that. Why do these boys become smitten with me, especially since I’m straight forward with them by saying, I don’t want a boyfriend. I guess it falls on deaf ears. Already, the coast guard boy has called me, just to say goodnight. Now, it’s time for his ship to depart, and he wants more time with me. And, I have only met him up with him twice! I haven’t even had sex with him! What is going on?? No matter how many times this happens, it still shocks me.
My mom did point out that it has always been like this though.
In high school, I was a floater, I hung out with all different kinds of groups. The punks, the outcasts, the academic kids, and other randoms. I had a lot of guys friends, and I like sex, so I would have friends with benefits. But this always would end up a mess. The boys I would have sex with, would want more than that, a relationship, yuck! Not the thing for me, I mean, I have had relationships, but that’s because I wanted a full time sex partner. Or, I was pushed into some kind of relationship. All of them ended on a bad note. These guys made me feel like more of a guy than them, because I like one night stands. They didn’t like having one night stands with me though. They became insatiable with only that, they wanted more of me. They wanted my freedom! What a headache, and here I thought these guys wouldn’t try putting shackles on me, and not the fun kind either.
“Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.”
― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own