Iquitos- January 19th, 2014

The walk of boredom ends with a Peruvian boy (a persuasive boy, I might add) trying to woo me over. He´s smoking me up, and trying to have a spanish conversation with me (I know very, very little spanish). Sometimes it took a while for me to actually understand what he is trying to say. But I understood that he wanted to go party with me. That confidence almost sold me, almost. If only he didn´t remind me of a hippie…

The next day, I saw him again, and decided. I would go on a date with him. I mean, why not? I´m losing some of my womanly needs. I want to feel gorgeous, special.

It will be okay… Right??

Boat Ride!- January 19th, 2014

I´m looking down at the pathetic cows on the boat. Their ribs and hips protrude out of their skin. They look like they are going to die at any moment.  One falls over and gets trampled on for a bit, then the workers notice. They tie that one to the side of the pin. What a sad sight to see. Even the chickens aboard are also in poor health. Why if this is your livestock, treat it so badly. I mean, that´s the meat you are going to eat. Seeing that, I wouldn´t want to eat them. The whole time we were on the boat, not once did I see the animals get food or water…

Boat

Iquitos here we come!- January 18th, 2014

I´m on a boat! I´m on a boat!

It has been a day on this boat, and we still have about 1-3 days left until Iquitos (the biggest city in the jungle). I have been hearing that the people in the city are beautiful. 

I´m going to find a handsome guy, that´s funny, and he will take me on a romantic date, and when he dazzles me with how the night is going, I will fuck him. Ohh, what a dream.

Ohh, America, how you destroy my image. Being American, I have been the butt of so many jokes. So there´s a Swedish, a German, and an American… Well it sounds like we are a joke… Hmm…So far it has been just that. It is interesting when our cultures collide, and we forget that not everyone does some of the things that happen in our different countries. 

The German and I like to bet on meaningless things. Such as, Yogi Bear says, Ï´m not your average kind of bear.¨First of all, this show is american, maybe it´s not a good idea to bet an american with an american character. Well, he lost, I got some wine for winning, YAY! 

/p>

When I started getting a bit tipsy though, I thought it would be fun to pick a fight, with the German. Did I mention, he´s a cage fighter. Not one of my brightest of ideas. He ended up just picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder. I´d say it was a draw…
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Ayahuasca- Lagunas: January 14th, 2014

This was not something I would have gone out of my way for. This thing supposedly cleanses the body, but in doing so, makes you feel like shit. Puking, dizzy, and alot of waiting…
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We stayed at the shaman´s for 4 days:

first day: Ayahuasca

second day: Recovery

third day: Ayahuasca

fourth day: Recovery

Now the first day, all of us did it, and it wasn´t so great. Our recovering day, we took a bath together next to a well with buckets full of water. What a sight! Three white people in the shaman´s backyard pouring water over their naked bodies. That was a first for me. Taking a bath with a man, especially two, and no funny business happened. It was like we were children again, splashing eachother, and not being weird about our nakedness.

The German and I decided to try it once more. That´s when the visuals happened. I could see a castle, with high walls, and a draw bridge. It was locked down tight. But I wanted in, slowly the draw bridge came down. Then the gates began to open, then the door. I was finally in, but which way do I go? I tried the left hallway, the grey stones the only thing I could see. The hallway never ended, so I returned to the beginning. This time I took the right hallway. After a bit of time, I came to a Imprisoned heart. It was in a cage. As I stared at it, it started to beat. I watched as smoke came out of it, wondering what was going on. Then suddenly, the cage broke open. I had freed it! It grew wings, and flew away! What a trip!

When we took this, we had to put alcohol to our lips then spit it out. Tobacco was used to help purify it or something like that. It didn´t smell good that´s for sure.

The shaman is seventy six years old, and blind! He seems to be a very off kind of fellow. Well, off to Iquitos!

Shaman House

DAY 4: Amazons- January 13th, 2014

So, in the middle of the night, in the second night, we got flooded. We had to hurry and set up camp once again in the rain at 4am. Once the day started, we went walking through the jungle. We saw a truantula hanging out on a tree and also other insects. The guides cut through the jungle with their machetes, showing us the way to where ever we were going.

The third night, we also got flooded, moving camp again. The water just kept rising, so not much for walking today. We did make it to a gigantic tree, which one of the tour guides climbed, then was followed by the german, and then the swed. Not me, no way, too clumsy ecspecially that height.

Cards has been a big filler for time. Asshole, the german way is what we have been playing. It tends to make the German and I butt heads at times. Ï´m the President, suck it!¨ The swed ends up as the middle man, he gets to enjoy watching our bickering. It´s a good thing the German speaks spanish, because neither of us do. We found out in the black water, you can swim and it´s safe, or so we were told.

Twice, we enjoyed the cool water in the heat. The last time we jumped in, we saw a tarantula on top of the water. The German with his curiousity, got closer. It suddenly dived into the water. Spiders do that (at least tarantulas do)! We all started swimming frantically back to the boat. That was close.

Toucans, many other birds, and some dolphins are some things we got to see. Then of course, me being me had to bring up. ¨Did you know dolphins rape people 14 times out of the year?¨And of course no one believes me…

I guess, it was an article and they don´t have any evidence to back it up, but chimps are known to be violent involving sex acts. So why, if dolphins being so intelligent, why wouldn´t they have violent sex?

Moving on, around 8pm, we were taken out on the boat to go and see some gators. One of our tour guides just jumped into the dark murky water. He is gone for about 5 to 10 minutes, while we are sitting in darkness. He comes back holding a 4 month old gator. Of course, we ooh, and aaahh. It´s scales feel so soft, we try taking some pictures but the flash isn´t working the greatest.

Earlier that day, a river that we walked to was overflooded. There were fish everywhere. We got them with machetes! How badass are we? ! We ended up getting 8 (most caught by our guides). What adventures in the jungle! We learned how to make fishing rods, learned how to make our shelter, and how to make fire as they did when it was pouring! We are amazing! Now we are the pros of the jungle! Hear us cackle as if we were the thunder!!amazon

 

DAY 1: January 9th, 2014 (The Jungle)

Amazon JungleThe amazons, we have seen a sticky legged frog, a centipede, and we got to set up camp in the rain! Oh, and we are still alive. I like it! The guides are in their element here. They made a fire for cooking in the pouring rain, and they make sure that we are taken care of, above all. Falling asleep while listening to the sounds of the rainforest is soothing. I get my own mat under the tarp with a mosquito net, while the boys get to really get to know each other. Haha!

The guides let us try and chop down a tree with a machete… Oh, boy, did I show up those boys. My muscles protrudes as I took a swing, each time wood went flying! ¨What strength!¨They would say.

I was the only one out of the German and Swedish boys that used the machete properly! The guides told me very good (I think some egos were hurt).