The Traveling Sorrows

5/16/17

My patience are becoming limited. This time, a part leaves an empty hole in my heart filling with an ache of pain. Sorrow rampages inside trying to claw its way out. But I cannot give in. I have to enjoy my time back here. My friends and family are ecstatic about my arrival. Seems it is time for a road trip. Soon the journey will begin.

wpid-img_20140626_164946_318.jpg

But right now, I must say goodbye to this small town in California that I once called home. It has been nice savoring the high mountains covered with life.Trees are in every direction you look. A nice cool breeze whips through, leaving a bit of a chill in its place. But it is great when working outside. Almost everyday has been filled with work, which I’m happy for!
Hard work, that’s what I like. Bring on more!

But soon this will be just another memory and the book of life will carry on to another chapter.

Hayfork, California

Friends that I have found in this special town have left me with quirky memories that will never be forgotten, even with my memory loss! These I want to hold onto. Until the end calls upon my door. I’m not going down with out a fight!

The bug of Travel

Another day in the Pines. Good Ole Hayfork, California. Where the sun shines brightly, almost unbearably so. The past few days the sun has been pounding down on me. But it only becomes a nuisance in the heat of the day. 


This town hasn’t changed much since the last time I was here. Many locals have warm and welcoming arms when I came into town. It makes me miss my days of living out here in the mountains. This small town was like the wild west. But nowadays, I stop just to visit. My body soon will begin to feel the itch to travel again. Soon I will travel other places in America before my journey goes back to my new home, Sweden.

The land of fairy tales and mystery. My backyard there is a forest that feels as though it is from a magical book. The time will soon come when I go back to that wonderful land.

Twisted

Written in 2008

Tears dripped down her already wet cheeks splashing on her now damp paper. The only noise in the room was the patient sound of the clock, ticking with every tear. Her eyes finally became dry and puffy, but her heart felt a clenching ache. No one would ever see this, she thought as she tightly hugged her notebook. A deep gasp came out of her with realisation. 

Denial is a powerful thing. She pondered on that thought. Nothing would be the same again. She can no longer stare in awe and have so much passion towards him. 

No one can ever get that close, not again. 

Her mind starts to wonder to the past. She thought, what if it could work? But the thought slammed her back to reality. Her stonewall of security will now be barricaded. No one is getting in.


Her eyes travel to the ceiling as she feels the tears returning. She fights for control. No she will not cry again. She is stronger than that. Her heart has been trampled on before. So this should be easy to bare. 

Breathless Beauty

This new place leaves me breathless. Trees stand tall sporadically placed throughout the eye’s view. They wave as if they are alive in a breeze. Our small traditional red house’s backyard is a forest that came out of a fairy tale. 


Every morning our family begins our walk of adventure through the enchanted forest. The path seems to change everytime we go on a walk, as if trying to catch us off guard. A beautiful melody is heard throughout the trees. The birds are also enjoying this mystical place. 

As we begin our journey, our ears pick up the sound of flowing water from a stream nearby. Thoughts trickled through my mind. They have told me stories of fairies, trolls, and gnomes. This must be their lands. The mystifying area of dreams. 

My two months here in Sweden has been moving so quickly. New obstacles, dreams, and it feels at times I have been thrown into a fantasy world. I must find the Ring!!

Slithered in Evil

Written in 2008


At the beginning I had a feeling the outside would be bad. But I kept riding on this roller coaster. He came across as a nice guy maybe a little troublemaker, but nothing I couldn’t handle. 
Then everything went black. My life suddenly spun out of  my hands into his. 


An Evil grin spread upon his face as his eyes narrowed to slits. He started spatting venomous words at me. My heart dropped, and I kept feeling like it was my fault when I had done nothing wrong. Tears streamed down from my eyes, leaving salty trails behind. ‘I must be a Whore!’ He says I am.

For some reason, I believed his hateful words. I felt he was the only one who would accept me for how I am. So I never left. We were together everyday. No longer could I talk to my friends that were guys, because in my heart I knew those ghastly words would come out of his poisonous mouth. If he knew I had talked to boys, his body would soon radiate with how furious he was. My feelings would cower inside of me, waiting for his body to connect with my own. But I would never show him my fear, he could never break my pride. 

Fights began happening daily and he soon realized his grip on me was becoming loose. He tried to control me even more, trying to use drugs as my achille’s heel. But he soon found out, ‘ I’M NOT A DRUGGIE!’ I can say NO! So he began forcing me to eat pills and hits of acid. 

A otherworldy feeling took over my body. I could look at my own self, and I looked broken. My independent self was lost, no where to be seen. 

Something dark and menacing hovered over my body, whispering in a language never heard of. My body responded and let this human-like demon have a firm grip on me. 

Slowly, my eyes began to open again. I now realized some people do not have any good left in their hearts. I was just being a good person, letting someone close that needed help. Always seeing the good in people instead of what was really happening. For being a Caring person, I get stomped on and thrown in the dirt. I kept giving, even when I had nothing to give. My own heart was ripped out of my chest, then crushed. Right before my tear filled eyes. 

It’s his fault I had to leave a place that I had finally felt accepted. His own selfish intensions left me penniless, used, and broken hearted. But now I know, not to be so caring. I am stronger now! He pushed my mental capacity to its fullest. Now, I think I can take on the World. I am ready to step out of my hole once again.

Live to the Fullest!

Life keeps plunging forward as if it was a never ending tide crashing on the beach. The moon lights up the beach, making the waves glint with secrets and mystery. 
Many pass everyday, never knowing how beautiful each day holds. A simple breeze can be delicate, the clouds can hold joy. But yet people go on with their own lives,never taking the chance to enjoy what surrounds them. 


Some wonder why their life is so Boring. All they need to do is open their blinded eyes and see the World in a different light.


Hidden Tranquility

The smell of honey and tea wafted into my nostrils, before I even walked into the front door. A gypsy framed on the wall captired my eyes. Her sky blue eyes held a secret as she danced in the clouds. Underneath her, pyramids stood tall, some hidden in shadows. My feet moved inside the gypsy house without my knowledge. Only a few people relaxed inside this place of freedom. Chairs and couches were sprawled everywhere. A melody enchanted me, making my body want to sway. Next to me stood a long glass tube connected to a translucent glass bowl. It intrigued me, a hooka in a coffee shop, what a rarity. 


My eyes searched the room, taking in the opaque curtains that lightly covered lamps. Everything gave the room a feeling of peace and relaxation. A woman behind the counter held my gaze. She wore a black cloth over her hair. As she walked away, her walk seemed to have a sway to it. She fit in perfectly here.  The clock felt it stopped moving as I stayed here. 

Smells of sage and lavender danced in the air. Playing with my body and bringing it to a far away land. Pictures were sprawled everywhere on the walls. Many of naked women outstretched, striking a pose for the painter. Even the bathroom gave off the feeling of tranquility. Everything felt right here. No one had to bother with time. This place is about joy and happiness.

I will nerver forget this hideaway in Denver, Colorado.

Aging Alone

The floor creaked as I took a step forward. As the room shrank with every step, the musty smell devours me. My fingers felt the dirt and dust that was left on the now yellow looking laced curtain. I wiped away the grime from the antique mirror attached to the dresser. My eyes were tired. As I touched my reflection, I noticed my hands were withered and frail. Wrinkles now covered my boney hands. A lonely tear trickled down my powdered cheek. 

This is my lonely home and all that is here is me. The breeze from outside had a shrill sound to it as it echoed the loneliness I feel.

March for Women

 

Saturday, 1/21/17

The day began warmer than I had expected. It was the beginning of the march for women. I soon became surrounded by all kinds of people. The majority were women, but there also was children, and many people with signs supporting races, genders, gays, and equality for everyone.  Signs could be seen from every direction you look. It turned into a huge crowd with colors of the rainbow surrounding us. I came here with my husband, friend, and her little girl. We thought it would be a good eye opener for her little one to see that many are here fighting for women’s rights, and equality for everybody.

marchforwomen2017

A speaker began, and a boisterous uproar a happiness started. It was such a booming sound that uplifted my heart. This made me proud to be from here, Sioux Falls, SD. We are also taking a stand against this possible backtrack in time to where women weren’t even allowed to vote.

Come to find out, this was a stand that was taken worldwide! About half a million had made it to Washington D.C. to support women. Almost every major city in the U.S. had taken a stand. Even in France, Sweden, and many other countries stood up for these rights that may be taken from our grasps. I had even seen photos of people taking a stand in Antarctica!

World News of March for Women

I hope this goes noticed and helps our rights not be taken! Women need health care, we need more women in the government system to back us up!! Everyone needs to take a stand and not let this go unnoticed! It is time to act and not be silent! We need to be heard!

170121143229-womens-march-london-0121-exlarge-169
London, England

 

The Battle up Yosemite Trail

We are surrounded by steep steps that keep climbing higher and higher. Before the hike began, we discussed in only doing the lower Yosemite fall trail.

Once the hike started, I was doing fine. But the more we climbed, the more a pounding began in my head. Trying to keep up with Clyde (my dog) and my husband was turning into a bad idea. All I could feel was the thumping in my head. I had to stop.

My husband gazes back at me, “Go on, I’m going to have to take some time.” I say to him. He finally reluctantly leaves me behind. I would get there on my own time.

Time had passed, so I began once again. But soon, I had to rest again, and again. My body could do it, but my head, my head was not having it! Every time I stopped, it was because the pain was roaring inside my brain.

It has been almost three years since I have even been able to do this much with hiking.

I was in a 7 car pile up back then. I am lucky to be able to walk at all. wpid-resizedimage951398972055556.jpgThe pain now is nothing compared to the pain I had back then. But I’m still nothing like how I used to be. Physiologically, this puts a toll on you over time. Especially when you have been trying to get better, even when it has gotten tough. But Never Give Up!

 

A few times I almost gave up, but I reassured myself that I could do it. I began a chant inside my head, ‘slow and steady wins the race.’

The trail was frequented often. Many people were going up and down in herds, but it dwindled down the higher I got. Keeping up with some of the groups helped my morale. ‘I am not totally broken! Look I’m at their speed!’

Finally, an opening emerges. I have made it to the lower falls! It was breathtaking! The waterfalls tumbles down, giving off a cold mist. Trees were on the opposite side of the dsc_0148panoramic view. I take in a deep breath. The air feels nice here, calm. But I realize, no man of mine, or dog. I must push on, to the end. After I rested a bit, I began the rocky trail to the top of the falls. After a while of trudging upward, every step was beginning to make a booming pound in my entire head. It felt as though it was growing from the inside with every thrum of pain.

When it was needed, and I could bare it no longer, I rested. And started the journey all over from where ever I stopped. Some of the people I passed helped me stay optimistic, “You’re about halfway!”

“Take your time, it will still be there for you to see!”

This trip was beginning to feel like an eternity! Finally, I was about 20-30 minutes from the top. I stopped to take a rest. As I was working on catching my breath, I caught a glimpse of my hubby in his green jacket with Clyde at his side walking towards me. My body was filled with relief and happiness. I have made it to my prize! Although, I was suppose to make it to them. He had come back down to see if I needed help. Being so close to the top, I couldn’t stop now.So I kept pushing. We went to the top together this time. The upper falls was spectacular! It was like being in a place untouched by man. In the distance, you could see trees spread out on mountains.

This rough terrain trail was 9 ½ miles to the top and back to the bottom.

We did it!