The Gathering

The day had come for all of us to meet. Some were left with an anguish feeling through out their bodies. Others would bubbling with excitement. Of course there is no thanksgiving in Sweden but we had created something similar to bring the family together.

Once it began that anguish feeling subsided and was left with happiness. Laughs roared throughout the house and the smell of delicious food wafted in the air. Just like thanksgiving with much food and some same dishes.


Once the day ended, everyone left with a good feeling and a full belly!


The gathering is now a great day to keep in the calendar for the years to come.

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Where is my Mind?


My mind is at a loss. It is hiding in the past. My life feels as though it is spiraling out of my grasp. My reality feels like it is fading away. I need to step back, and refresh my brain. My life, my passion, and my ambition are still intact. I am happy, but my heart aches. I guess homesickness is hitting me. What a suffocating feeling. I must keep myself busy, I must find a new path to pursue. 


The road is not an easy one. But I am not alone. I can not forget that. I have my furry family here along with my man. With that thought, my mind eases. I cannot give up on myself! No one should give up on themselves.

The Vibration of Realization

I’m drenched in perspiration.  The thundering noise still echoes through my head. I still don’t know how I could react as I did, or even why. But it keeps replaying in my mind.


The choices that tumbled out to choose from were quickly snatched. My mind was racing, but I grabbed what I felt I was going to need. I have an inkling feeling of what the future holds. I will prevail.

My future begins to unravel in front of my eyes. It is as I thought, I will just have to stick with the choices I have made and my gut feeling. In that instant, the roar began. My whole body shook. The ground began to vibrate and many people started to panic. 

Without even thinking, I climbed a tree and spotted from a afar. A herd of buffalo came pounding toward us. Quickly I scanned the people.  It was decision time. I yelled down and told everyone to climb. The ones that could did. But a few older people were crippled and two children were struggling. 


Not much time was left. 

I climbed down with such force. I felt the urgency calling out within my body. The two kids were crying frantically. I grabbed the smaller one and ran to the tree beside me with people. There were open arms awaiting the child. I tossed the little girl to the couple and they held onto her as if they were her security blanket. 

The ground began to rattle even more. It was beginning to become hard to keep my balance. The little boy had followed me and I threw him onto my back.” Don’t let go! Hold tight!” I yelled over the thunderous pounding. I could see the herd now as i started grabbing the first branches. Just as I and the boy got out of reach, the buffalo came bolting through. A gust with tremendous force hit us with dust. My heart sank as I knew the 3 o,dear people didn’t make it. 

We waited until the dust had settled before moving. Once that happened, many began to climb down the trees. The boy hopped up onto my back again and we descended down the tree. He jumped off of me and sprinted towards his little sister. 

Blood was splattered everywhere. None of the older people that were left on the ground were moving, except one. An elderly woman held out her twitching hand. I ran over to her and took it in both of mine. Her body was bloodied and her intestines were sprawled out. 

There was no saving her and she knew it. My heart sunk. We both knew what had to be done. I grabbed the knife I chose earlier and held back my tears. “Do it.” She gurgled through her bloodied mouth.

“I’m sorry…” I whispered and sliced her throat as tears began to fall from my face. I dropped to my knees and sobbed.

You can’t save everyone…

A whirlwind for the Heart

That day felt surreal. I wasn’t fully there once it happened. I didn’t believe my eyes as it unfolded right in front of me! 

               The day was filled with rays of light and a warmth when it touched you. We met up with a friend and her kids at the lake. It was a nice day to relax at the lake surrounded by many colored trees. Once the sun began to descend, we started packing our things. My husband and I said our goodbyes and loaded up Clyde (my dog). We drove to our road, and as usual, we let Clyde out so he could sprint in front of us. After a few seconds, Clyde’s back legs locked up. His body was in midair and then fell to the ground. As I saw this, my whole body went into panic mode. Birk stopped the car and rushed to him. Clyde kept trying to come to us as he dragged his back legs behind his body. My husband picked him up and looked him over. I was already waiting in the back so I could be next to Clyde. But once he was in the back, he didn’t want to sit still. It was painful to watch him try to use his back legs. His balance was now non existent and he wasn’t listening when I tried to make him relax.


Birk called a vet and explained our situation. Clyde was put on house arrest with 24 hour watch. My eyes watched his every move. I stayed by his side a few days after that as well. 

When it had happened to him, it looked as though his rear legs detached from his hips. But overtime, it was beginning to get better. He must have had major cramps happen in his back legs that just were stuck in a stiff outstretched position. 


Since then, he now gets healthy organic ingredients put into his food. They help with aches, arthritis, and many other things. He has sprouted into a puppy again. You would have never known he went through that! His body is once again, fully functional. 

But that day, my whole world was at a stand still. I’m not oblivious to the fact that dog’s lives are shorter than a human’s. But to have someone by your side almost all the time for 11 years and this happens is devastating. He has travelled on boats, rvs, jet ski, cars, 4-wheelers, and planes with me. While I hitch hiked in America for around a year, he was by my side. Much of America we have seen together! We have seen 3 countries together now! My husband quickly grew fond of Clyde. Now the three of us and our two cats have ventured to many places.



Clyde is my animal soul mate, and he always will be! I had a protector when I was in sticky situations. He is more than a dog, he is part of my family. 

The Pain of the Weather

6/14/17

The weather has been pounding on my head profusely. Another day with High humidity in the air. This pulls at me, chipping off pieces of myself. It has been three years, but I still am having issues. South Dakota is not the place for my head. This crazy weather and drastic temperatures are not my friends. If only this could be harmonious in my brain. But seldon is anything easy. I guess that is a part of life. Since surviving the bad, I cherish life much more. Humans need the bad with the good to understand how to appreciate the good things.


Pushing forward is not going to work today. Every step I go on ward, I am pushed back twice as much! The pain becomes more threatening. I’m at a stand still. When will this weather clear up? Let me be free! I am barricaded inside this house. If I venture out, the pain finds me quickly. 

What a nightmare! This weather holds the pain a waiting me where ever I go!

Sucked in yet Again


6/9/17

I’m back in the midwest, once again. It’s like there is a black hole that keeps bringing be back here no matter how far I get. Many times I have felt trapped here. Stuck in a pile of muck, unable to move. My plans have had to changed drastically multiple times. The obstacles I have endured are not easy and tend to bring me to this flat farmland state. Maybe some day my feelings for this place will change. As of now, it doesn’t feel like home anymore.

 There is a huge gap for equality between men and women here. And now, big companies are weaseling their way into town to avoid taxes. A dark shadow hangs over this city, but sometimes a glint of light shows through. Maybe just maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Need Help With Enduring Pain

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The accident Endured

So here I am, between a rock and a hard place. I have to figure out how I am going to pay all my medical bills off. The cost is $180,000.00. I was in a bad 7 car pile up. I was on my way to California from South Dakota. I made it as far as Rock Springs, Wyoming, before this wreck happened. Since three years has passed, I have made it far. I can do many things at the beginning of healing, I could not. This took about a year of physical training and being stubborn. I kept pushing myself everyday to get better. Even when doctors told me I would be like this for the rest of my life. I still made myself keep trying. Everyday is still difficult to get up because the pain does not take a break. I still push myself. But if you can see in your heart that you can help, just press the link above, or share with friends and family. I am not sure that the money given from the accident will cover all of my hospital bills. That is why I have created this. Plus, it seems more likely that I will always have these back, neck, and head pains the rest of my life.

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I understand if you can’t donate, I know right now, it would be difficult for me, but please at least share. Thank you very much!

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Granite Ghost Town Awaits

5/26/17

 

Dilapidated buildings were sprawled through out the woods. I can feel the history in the air. Granite Ghost Town lies 4 miles up a mountain in Montana.

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Drive up at your own risk! Zero maintenance roads ahead! My mom and I looked at each other once we read the sign. I was filled with excitement, but my mom was filled with worry. As our journey began, the road was becoming more narrow as we progressed. One side of the road clung to the mountain, the other side was a rugged cliff. Halfway up, the view to our side was spectacular! We could see the town sprawled out and the sunset beginning to take over the open sky. Once we made it to the top, many old buildings were left in pieces. But some with stood over the years, the building where the head honcho lived that took care of the town and one house that was owned by the last person to leave the town. She was an elderly lady that lived in this town for about 20 years alone!! Some of the parts of houses were becoming one with the trees in areas. The rest of the buildings lay in piles of rubble.

What a crazy place for a town! It is so high up in the mountain, plus this was in the days where vehicles were a new technology. But they created some machine that helped them bring down the rocks of silver and gold down where they could harvest it properly. The view left me in awe and the feeling here made me realize why so many would live in a place like this. Everything held tranquility in its grasps. I breathe in deeply and exhale, feeling a calmness.

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The Beauty Dims

 

The mystical lake glints with beauty. It is breathtaking! The feeling of peace washes over me. But my thoughts wander to this place when it is tourist season. So many people bustling around, taking away the beauty with the loudness, traffic, and energy. Many rush to and fro. The one main street is covered in vehicles. Many of the nature still surrounds this town in South Lake Tahoe, but even there, the sounds of cars destroys the peace of wilderness.

Before this place turned into a money maker, it was sacred to the Native Americans. Now wildlife is being overtaken by people and buildings. This land still holds its glimmer though, and hopefully it will for a long time.

We reached and path away from many people. Down the steep side of a hill we went. Once we made it to the rocky area, the lake water crashed against the rocks, showing its strength. The view left me breathless. No cars could be heard down here, only the whipping of the water hitting stones. This is what I like, being away from the busy town.

Nowadays, so many don’t even know how to enjoy the little things in life. Take away your eyes from your phone and enjoy the outside world! Look up and see the stars!

Even with finding some hidden paths, this is still too busy for me. It takes away nature’s tranquility. But Tomorrow a new path will be reached.

The Traveling Sorrows

5/16/17

My patience are becoming limited. This time, a part leaves an empty hole in my heart filling with an ache of pain. Sorrow rampages inside trying to claw its way out. But I cannot give in. I have to enjoy my time back here. My friends and family are ecstatic about my arrival. Seems it is time for a road trip. Soon the journey will begin.

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But right now, I must say goodbye to this small town in California that I once called home. It has been nice savoring the high mountains covered with life.Trees are in every direction you look. A nice cool breeze whips through, leaving a bit of a chill in its place. But it is great when working outside. Almost everyday has been filled with work, which I’m happy for!
Hard work, that’s what I like. Bring on more!

But soon this will be just another memory and the book of life will carry on to another chapter.

Hayfork, California

Friends that I have found in this special town have left me with quirky memories that will never be forgotten, even with my memory loss! These I want to hold onto. Until the end calls upon my door. I’m not going down with out a fight!