The Traveling Sorrows

5/16/17

My patience are becoming limited. This time, a part leaves an empty hole in my heart filling with an ache of pain. Sorrow rampages inside trying to claw its way out. But I cannot give in. I have to enjoy my time back here. My friends and family are ecstatic about my arrival. Seems it is time for a road trip. Soon the journey will begin.

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But right now, I must say goodbye to this small town in California that I once called home. It has been nice savoring the high mountains covered with life.Trees are in every direction you look. A nice cool breeze whips through, leaving a bit of a chill in its place. But it is great when working outside. Almost everyday has been filled with work, which I’m happy for!
Hard work, that’s what I like. Bring on more!

But soon this will be just another memory and the book of life will carry on to another chapter.

Hayfork, California

Friends that I have found in this special town have left me with quirky memories that will never be forgotten, even with my memory loss! These I want to hold onto. Until the end calls upon my door. I’m not going down with out a fight!

The bug of Travel

Another day in the Pines. Good Ole Hayfork, California. Where the sun shines brightly, almost unbearably so. The past few days the sun has been pounding down on me. But it only becomes a nuisance in the heat of the day. 


This town hasn’t changed much since the last time I was here. Many locals have warm and welcoming arms when I came into town. It makes me miss my days of living out here in the mountains. This small town was like the wild west. But nowadays, I stop just to visit. My body soon will begin to feel the itch to travel again. Soon I will travel other places in America before my journey goes back to my new home, Sweden.

The land of fairy tales and mystery. My backyard there is a forest that feels as though it is from a magical book. The time will soon come when I go back to that wonderful land.

Twisted

Written in 2008

Tears dripped down her already wet cheeks splashing on her now damp paper. The only noise in the room was the patient sound of the clock, ticking with every tear. Her eyes finally became dry and puffy, but her heart felt a clenching ache. No one would ever see this, she thought as she tightly hugged her notebook. A deep gasp came out of her with realisation. 

Denial is a powerful thing. She pondered on that thought. Nothing would be the same again. She can no longer stare in awe and have so much passion towards him. 

No one can ever get that close, not again. 

Her mind starts to wonder to the past. She thought, what if it could work? But the thought slammed her back to reality. Her stonewall of security will now be barricaded. No one is getting in.


Her eyes travel to the ceiling as she feels the tears returning. She fights for control. No she will not cry again. She is stronger than that. Her heart has been trampled on before. So this should be easy to bare. 

Slithered in Evil

Written in 2008


At the beginning I had a feeling the outside would be bad. But I kept riding on this roller coaster. He came across as a nice guy maybe a little troublemaker, but nothing I couldn’t handle. 
Then everything went black. My life suddenly spun out of  my hands into his. 


An Evil grin spread upon his face as his eyes narrowed to slits. He started spatting venomous words at me. My heart dropped, and I kept feeling like it was my fault when I had done nothing wrong. Tears streamed down from my eyes, leaving salty trails behind. ‘I must be a Whore!’ He says I am.

For some reason, I believed his hateful words. I felt he was the only one who would accept me for how I am. So I never left. We were together everyday. No longer could I talk to my friends that were guys, because in my heart I knew those ghastly words would come out of his poisonous mouth. If he knew I had talked to boys, his body would soon radiate with how furious he was. My feelings would cower inside of me, waiting for his body to connect with my own. But I would never show him my fear, he could never break my pride. 

Fights began happening daily and he soon realized his grip on me was becoming loose. He tried to control me even more, trying to use drugs as my achille’s heel. But he soon found out, ‘ I’M NOT A DRUGGIE!’ I can say NO! So he began forcing me to eat pills and hits of acid. 

A otherworldy feeling took over my body. I could look at my own self, and I looked broken. My independent self was lost, no where to be seen. 

Something dark and menacing hovered over my body, whispering in a language never heard of. My body responded and let this human-like demon have a firm grip on me. 

Slowly, my eyes began to open again. I now realized some people do not have any good left in their hearts. I was just being a good person, letting someone close that needed help. Always seeing the good in people instead of what was really happening. For being a Caring person, I get stomped on and thrown in the dirt. I kept giving, even when I had nothing to give. My own heart was ripped out of my chest, then crushed. Right before my tear filled eyes. 

It’s his fault I had to leave a place that I had finally felt accepted. His own selfish intensions left me penniless, used, and broken hearted. But now I know, not to be so caring. I am stronger now! He pushed my mental capacity to its fullest. Now, I think I can take on the World. I am ready to step out of my hole once again.

Hidden Tranquility

The smell of honey and tea wafted into my nostrils, before I even walked into the front door. A gypsy framed on the wall captired my eyes. Her sky blue eyes held a secret as she danced in the clouds. Underneath her, pyramids stood tall, some hidden in shadows. My feet moved inside the gypsy house without my knowledge. Only a few people relaxed inside this place of freedom. Chairs and couches were sprawled everywhere. A melody enchanted me, making my body want to sway. Next to me stood a long glass tube connected to a translucent glass bowl. It intrigued me, a hooka in a coffee shop, what a rarity. 


My eyes searched the room, taking in the opaque curtains that lightly covered lamps. Everything gave the room a feeling of peace and relaxation. A woman behind the counter held my gaze. She wore a black cloth over her hair. As she walked away, her walk seemed to have a sway to it. She fit in perfectly here.  The clock felt it stopped moving as I stayed here. 

Smells of sage and lavender danced in the air. Playing with my body and bringing it to a far away land. Pictures were sprawled everywhere on the walls. Many of naked women outstretched, striking a pose for the painter. Even the bathroom gave off the feeling of tranquility. Everything felt right here. No one had to bother with time. This place is about joy and happiness.

I will nerver forget this hideaway in Denver, Colorado.

March for Women

 

Saturday, 1/21/17

The day began warmer than I had expected. It was the beginning of the march for women. I soon became surrounded by all kinds of people. The majority were women, but there also was children, and many people with signs supporting races, genders, gays, and equality for everyone.  Signs could be seen from every direction you look. It turned into a huge crowd with colors of the rainbow surrounding us. I came here with my husband, friend, and her little girl. We thought it would be a good eye opener for her little one to see that many are here fighting for women’s rights, and equality for everybody.

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A speaker began, and a boisterous uproar a happiness started. It was such a booming sound that uplifted my heart. This made me proud to be from here, Sioux Falls, SD. We are also taking a stand against this possible backtrack in time to where women weren’t even allowed to vote.

Come to find out, this was a stand that was taken worldwide! About half a million had made it to Washington D.C. to support women. Almost every major city in the U.S. had taken a stand. Even in France, Sweden, and many other countries stood up for these rights that may be taken from our grasps. I had even seen photos of people taking a stand in Antarctica!

World News of March for Women

I hope this goes noticed and helps our rights not be taken! Women need health care, we need more women in the government system to back us up!! Everyone needs to take a stand and not let this go unnoticed! It is time to act and not be silent! We need to be heard!

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London, England

 

Stand with Standing Rock

Over 20,000 people are standing up for what they believe in. They are fighting in saving what helps create life, water. 

Many have looked at what has happened to these people in disbelief. They say this has been a fight going on longer than this stand off involving the  North Dakota Access Oil Pipeline. 

The first plan they had for the oil pipeline was to put it near a small town in North Dakota. But it was denied, on account being too close their water supply. The same reason at Standing Rock they are protecting their water source. The oil pipeline is suppose to be only a half a mile away from their water source. Now how on earth would these corporations think this would be a good idea?! This is what happens when money speaks louder than preserving life, or taking care of our environment. 

As of now, the North Dakota Access Pipeline has been put on a halt. The first battle has been won, this is only the beginning. The corporations will wait for the new President, and once that happens, they will try again. We must not let them win! This is bigger than the area it involves! This goes against how you should treat others. What really matters!

We have to be together, stand united! The more people we have against this pipeline, the harder it will be for these corporations to get their way.

As the natives have said water if life!

We must stay and fight this thing together!

The Forgotten Memory

The wretched truth keeps finding its way out. Escaping from its long forgotten box of solitude. First, a howl is heard. It echoes in the room. The sound is like a fowl stench etched in the air. I feel a dark pit begin to start in my stomach. The memories tumble back into my brain. They were forgotten for a reason! Now, they are back, permanently imbedded in my mind. The atmosphere has grown darker, now I have to deal with this never leaving dreadful past.
I must shrug it off, forgive myself, and move on. It is just another thing that has helped me become who I am today. Don’t stop fighting, stay true to yourself!

Forcing Ideas into Your Head

My world has been turned upside down. I’m at a loss for words. This feeling of confusion grabs a hold of my body. My vision beomes cloudy and now I’m standing in darkness. Nothing can be seen, it feels like hours, then I hear his voice calling out my name. His voice begins to hold panic. I start to run towards his sound. Urgency holds in his tone and gets louder as I get closer. I find a door and swing it open.

Immediately, I’m blinded by the light. I wake up coughing up something gooey and black. It quickly runs away. My vision clears and I’m on the floor with my husband hovering over me. His eyes are swollen with tears, and he grabs me for a hug. A sigh of relief escapes his lips. My memory is still foggy, what had happened?

I shake my head, trying to clear the mist of lost pieces. Then at that moment some of the memory floods back into my brain. I gasp as images play once again in my head. I remember seeing a black liquid thing form out of a big puddle in front of my eyes and trudges towards me. For some reason my body couldn’t move. It grabbed my face and opened my mouth. I was frozen with fear. It breathed some black thing inside of me. My eyes turned completely black for a second, and then went back to normal. The stiffness I felt, slowly left, and the monster thing treaded itself back to the puddle.

Snipets of images come across my mind. A little girl with black curls turning into gold curls. For a brief moment I see dead trees near a graveyard. Another image of the moon’s light shining down on the emptiness of a grassy field.

These pieces don’t add up. What does this mean?

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Twitterpated

My heart doesn’t miss a beat, but it still aches. A different kind of ache. I long to be held by that love of mine. His warm breath on my neck brings chills to my body. My heart and loins start to react just from the thought of him. How long am I to wait? My body is beginning to go crazy.

Being apart has been good and bad. We have found our independence once again. But I also realize once again, that he is special to me. My thoughts throughout the days always ends up back at his door step. Wondering what he would do in this position or how he would react. 

Happiness spurts out when I see he is calling. Just hearing his voice helps ease the pain of being apart. 

I must be madly twitterpated with this one of a kind guy. 

Ours worked a bit differently though. It wasn’t at first sight but over time it grew. Slowly our walls began tumbling down. We both realized it, and once I knew this was love I had for him. I almost ran with fright. To have your guard down with someone, and not even flinching on the idea that now you’re vulnerable. That is scary!