Stuck in Repetition 

More and more information is being found. I’m left speechless. This country is turning into a mini America. How can that be?! I thought it was a progressive place here with their sense of helping others without any underline goal. Here in Sweden they recycle nearly 100% of household waste. They have some of the best schools in the world. Also, gender equality is leaps and bounds better than many other countries.


But the more I’m learning, it is like here they are repeating what America has done in the past. You would think here they would learn from America’s mistakes and NOT follow in their footsteps! It seems any other way is lost to them. 

America with its shiny media blinding many from seeing what is really happening there. My heart breaks to see that it is like a replay button has been hit in this country. But I will not stand not sit for it to happen. Here, I feel my voice can be heard and won’t be muffled by corporations or anyone for that matter. My words may even hold some personal meaning to others. 

Everyone no matter race,gender, age, or sexuality, should stand together, no matter what! 

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The Demonstration Unites us!

The day began with the sun shining. None of us thought to bring rain jackets to the demonstration in Göteborg, Sweden. But were we wrong! The four of us hopped on a train and in a half and hour, we made it to Göteborg! The 2nd biggest city in Sweden. 


As we get closer to the rally area, signs are beginning to be held up. People here are against NATO having a hold in Sweden. This would mean America could use Sweden’s military to their own discretion. Now this country, unlike America has had 300 years of peace.


As it starts, clouds begin to creep over the sun with an ominous look of trouble. A cold breeze sweeps across my skin. The air now feels like rain. Uh-oh. It didn’t even start out as sprinkles, it began to just downpour. Almost everyone surrounding us either pulls out an umbrella or rain jacket. Swedes, prepared for any weather. Here I thought we would be OK, being with two swedes and all. 


I feel cold to the bone. My clothes are now plastered to me. It feels as though I’m now walking through a swamp in my shoes. We walk with the parade to the next spot. Water sloshing in our shoes with every step. As we progress forward, we chant about keeping out of NATO. The echo of our voices throughout the street is all that is heard. 

It looks around 400 people came to stand in their belief. 

The whole thing was a peaceful protest, which I am grateful. Violence is especially not the answer when you are protesting against violence.


But what kept tugging at me is many here in this country don’t want NATO. But yet many don’t voice it or take a stand. Some of my Swedish friends explained it to me. That many are comfortable with life here. They haven’t had to fight for anything in a long time. So losing their peace is something they don’t realise could actually happen!

Granite National Park

Now this trip was in June, before all the fires that now have destroyed such a tranquil place.


Beauty took over the horizon as we drove closer. Mountains were taking over the view. Many had snowy tops. We make it through the gate, and our adventures begin! The sound of water could be heard and as we drove in deeper, the sound became thunderous. We pull over to find a jaw dropping view of a gigantic waterfall. It felt as though we have been transported through time. To the land that was untouched by man. 
It took us about two days to see as much as we could of the west and east glacier. One of he paths was closed due to a snow Avalanche. I guess here, that is usual around the end of May.


Our next obstacle would be making it to the Canadian side. Glacier-Waterton National Park. Once we drove up to the border, we had to check in.  The ranger asked if we had papers for certification of rabies for my parents dog. Whoops, nope. She looked at the tiny dog and said, “Well he’s not foaming from the mouth, you guys can go on ahead.” 

I was relieved she didn’t check our records. I had a DUI. 

On the Canadian side, the breathtaking beauty had intensified. First off, the roads were well paved. Not like the zig zag roller coaster drive in Montana. There was a historic hotel on top of a mountain that overlooked a lake. From a far, it looked as though it was from a fairy tale. This trip was filled with waterfalls and a peaceful atmosphere. 


It was the beginning of the sun setting and many animals sprang to life. High on a steep mountain, you could see mountain goats climbing. There were Rams that walked right passed us, and deer just pranced through the edge of a tourist town. In tall grass, we could see a moose far away laying down.


On our way out, my mother spotted something! Across the lake a brown bear was hunting for fish in the water. We pulled over to get a better look and another family was nice enough to let us take a closer look through their camera. It was amazing!


Whispers in my mind

What is this strange feeling. It is persistent, and feels as it is a weight holding me down. A choice has been made and there is no going back! 

Knowing that, it begins to suffocate me. My stomach starts to churn. One way ticket, no way out. 


Unless, I want to run… That is not what I want. I just have to endure this feeling. I must buckle up for the ride. It won’t always be joyful! 

A crumb of regret holds onto my shoulder, but I brush it off. None of that now. I have but one life, I can’t be in multiple places at the same time. The path has been chosen. My heart is committed. Now if only my head was in the game. A tickling voice ripples through my head. The wind begins to pick up. It starts pulling me, the feeling is awakened. I feel uncertain, after a couple of seconds, I shut it down. It needs to be patient. The road now calls to me. I whip around and slam the door on it all. For now, I will be happy. 

The travel bug has to sleep once again.

The Path that Never Ends

The spiraling staircase is creeping closer. 

It looks eerie, but I begin going up it anyway. 

                 I take some steps upward, the top feels like it can never be reached.

Panic grasps hold of me!

I start to run. Adrenaline pumps throughout me.

                       But this path is never ending. My heart is pounding, echoing in my ears.

                                          My breathing has become ragged. I’m feeling the pull of giving up.

            I look the other way, and see it is now as far away as the top. Desperation grabs on to me. I frantically stumble down the stairs.

                   But it is never ending!

I’m trapped! How do I get out of here!?

The words echo throughout the stairwell. It is the only sound left with me.

The Pain of the Weather

6/14/17

The weather has been pounding on my head profusely. Another day with High humidity in the air. This pulls at me, chipping off pieces of myself. It has been three years, but I still am having issues. South Dakota is not the place for my head. This crazy weather and drastic temperatures are not my friends. If only this could be harmonious in my brain. But seldon is anything easy. I guess that is a part of life. Since surviving the bad, I cherish life much more. Humans need the bad with the good to understand how to appreciate the good things.


Pushing forward is not going to work today. Every step I go on ward, I am pushed back twice as much! The pain becomes more threatening. I’m at a stand still. When will this weather clear up? Let me be free! I am barricaded inside this house. If I venture out, the pain finds me quickly. 

What a nightmare! This weather holds the pain a waiting me where ever I go!

Music through the Forest

The pounding of the music travels through out the forest. It devours nature with its beats. Probably over 500 people have come to hear the DJs. Many families are scattered in this family forest festival. The name is Forest Star Festival and it is in Sweden, the country that has 70% of its lands woods. 


The sound keeps Pilkington more in to let go of stress and live in the now. The thrumming beats don’t stop until 4am and begin again at 10am. It is like a roller coaster ride of sound!

Every day here has felt different. The time keeps slipping away so quickly out of my grasp. But it feels good. Smiles are given where ever you go. 


Many here have worked together to create this unity of people gathering for the music. Tents are sporadically spread through out the trees that seem to hold secrets. 


You can hear children giggling and laughing playing on the swings and ropes that is the playground. 

No cares in the world here. Many just sway to their own rhythm as they listen to the beats. 

Happiness, Peace, & Relaxation.

Forest Star Festival

Sucked in yet Again


6/9/17

I’m back in the midwest, once again. It’s like there is a black hole that keeps bringing be back here no matter how far I get. Many times I have felt trapped here. Stuck in a pile of muck, unable to move. My plans have had to changed drastically multiple times. The obstacles I have endured are not easy and tend to bring me to this flat farmland state. Maybe some day my feelings for this place will change. As of now, it doesn’t feel like home anymore.

 There is a huge gap for equality between men and women here. And now, big companies are weaseling their way into town to avoid taxes. A dark shadow hangs over this city, but sometimes a glint of light shows through. Maybe just maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Need Help With Enduring Pain

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The accident Endured

So here I am, between a rock and a hard place. I have to figure out how I am going to pay all my medical bills off. The cost is $180,000.00. I was in a bad 7 car pile up. I was on my way to California from South Dakota. I made it as far as Rock Springs, Wyoming, before this wreck happened. Since three years has passed, I have made it far. I can do many things at the beginning of healing, I could not. This took about a year of physical training and being stubborn. I kept pushing myself everyday to get better. Even when doctors told me I would be like this for the rest of my life. I still made myself keep trying. Everyday is still difficult to get up because the pain does not take a break. I still push myself. But if you can see in your heart that you can help, just press the link above, or share with friends and family. I am not sure that the money given from the accident will cover all of my hospital bills. That is why I have created this. Plus, it seems more likely that I will always have these back, neck, and head pains the rest of my life.

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I understand if you can’t donate, I know right now, it would be difficult for me, but please at least share. Thank you very much!

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Granite Ghost Town Awaits

5/26/17

 

Dilapidated buildings were sprawled through out the woods. I can feel the history in the air. Granite Ghost Town lies 4 miles up a mountain in Montana.

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Drive up at your own risk! Zero maintenance roads ahead! My mom and I looked at each other once we read the sign. I was filled with excitement, but my mom was filled with worry. As our journey began, the road was becoming more narrow as we progressed. One side of the road clung to the mountain, the other side was a rugged cliff. Halfway up, the view to our side was spectacular! We could see the town sprawled out and the sunset beginning to take over the open sky. Once we made it to the top, many old buildings were left in pieces. But some with stood over the years, the building where the head honcho lived that took care of the town and one house that was owned by the last person to leave the town. She was an elderly lady that lived in this town for about 20 years alone!! Some of the parts of houses were becoming one with the trees in areas. The rest of the buildings lay in piles of rubble.

What a crazy place for a town! It is so high up in the mountain, plus this was in the days where vehicles were a new technology. But they created some machine that helped them bring down the rocks of silver and gold down where they could harvest it properly. The view left me in awe and the feeling here made me realize why so many would live in a place like this. Everything held tranquility in its grasps. I breathe in deeply and exhale, feeling a calmness.

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